CONFESSION BEHIND CLOSED DOORS

 

You can call me Blue (not my real name) and I have been following this page for a long time. This is my first time confessing something I've been hiding for so long, however this might be the last.

I was forced to keep it a secret because people might think I was crazy or that I was different from them and that's the least thing I'd wish to happen. Please do not judge me.

It started when I was in grade 6. I have a male neighbor who is also in his 40s. Eventually, his daughter became my classmate. Mary (not her real name) is kind and cheerful. But the other day he seemed to be out of his mind. Btw, we have a convenience store and in the evening his father bought us three bottles of wine. I don't know but even though I haven't reached the winnoe with him, my heartbeat suddenly speeds up and my hand almost sweats with nervousness and fear. When he reached his payment, I knew he was a bit weird to me, even so he just ignored me. I felt something else about him. Every second that passes I just stare at the store, I can’t help but get angry with myself.

The next day when I went to school, Mary did not come with me. It turns out that he was just late. compared to his behavior yesterday, now I can say that he is worried. The guy you just touched with him, he was going to cry. Throughout the day of our class, he could not talk properly.

Gone are the days when I felt sad and guilt because he stopped going to school. I was angry with myself because I did not even warn him. I didn't do anything as his friend. the only news I heard from her was that she already lived in the province with the child she was pregnant with.

Gone are the people I have trained myself in my extraordinary lifestyle. That every time a person approaches me, I just look into your eyes, I will know your true intentions.
I am also forced to be disturbed by my strange dream in which my place is not on the surface of the world but in another world I live and there are unusual creatures that force me to be one of them.

I am also unaware of my ability to manipulate the decision or what happens to someone. I also admit that I once used it in the wrong way. For example if I want to reciprocate (even though I know revenging won't do me any good). but now I must say I'm having the best idea to control my anger towards a person because if I don't do it, I just don't know what else I can do with him.

Something stuck in my mind. that is, do not trust immediately because sometimes, whoever else you think can be trusted, he will betray you. Speaking from experience, I can only say one thing. MANY PEOPLE ARE SKINNY. I rarely encounter people who prove themselves.
But life must go on even though the truth of a person's character is naked in my eyes. ..

End